.. it's always been you..

Ask-Me-Anything

2007-03-23T22:50:00.000+08:00

I don't have to stress the obvious that it has been a long time since I last posted. A big problem for me now, is that I dont know how to pick things up from where I left off. I dont know what to say, where to start or how to even begin.

And so in my attempt to revive this almost forgotten blog, I thought of doing something different. Diversion from the typical me-narrating-my-silly-life. Hopefully, you would help me out in this one.

Here's how it goes.
You ask me a question, anything..personal, seryoso, loko kahit pang autograph na tanong.. Note: Anything that doesnt fall under bastos, sarcasm, or academics. I'll try to answer them. Hehe. Be open in asking.. it would kill neither you nor I.

I dont know why I have a sudden urge for this. But I think it's worth a try.

Pop the "question" in my tagboard.. or sa ym!, friendster, multiply.. anywhere that I'm connected to. And if you can, pass this "uncausely" cause to others.. Haha. :-)

Christmas Eve

2006-12-24T23:33:00.000+08:00

Few minutes are left till the christmas eve. My dad's watching TV. My sister and my mom went up to their rooms..probably they are asleep. And I'm in front of my PC, finally updating this blog!!

I'm supposed to be in church by now. But since noone in this house seemed to be awake, I'll be going tomorrow morning. Then, I would have some company. Both of my parents are worn down. They woke up early to go to the market. Then my dad went with Me and my sis to the mall to do some last-minute shopping. After lunch, we were all busy preparing food. I spent most of the day going back and forth the kitchen and the dining room. It's quite stupid that we prepared so much, yet only the 4 of us will be eating together tonight. I'm not even sure if by that time everyone would be awake.
.+.
Nasimot na lahat ng barya dito sa bahay. Tumigil na ang mga nangangaroling, sa wakas. Hanep. Bagong pambansang christmas carol.."Pasko Na-slash-Boom Tarat". There was a group who came over to our gates..I think they're drunk..or sabog lang talaga sila.. They banged the gates..How dare them to say "Namamasko po?".. I was so annoyed. Pag hindi mo pa binigyan, ikaw pang kaiinisan. Tsktsk.
.+.
30 minutes na lang. I better turn this PC off. Christmas na mamaya. :)
I'm wishing everyone a great Christmas! Enjoy the holidays!

SINONG DI MABABALIW SA ULAN

2006-09-10T07:51:00.000+08:00

People have a way of saying that rain is a blessing. Pag inulan ang graduation nyo or birthday mo or any special event, blessing un. I never believed in that. [Who does anyway??] Never did I saw the connection of water droplets to any form of blessing [e.g. money, new clothes, fafabol, good health..]. To me, it is just an expression of optimism (common to many Noypis).. Finding something good out of bad.

But if it is true, that rain is indeed a blessing, then I had just been enormously
blessed last night. The rain hit hard, with me and my friends not knowing.[since we're inside the mall] We were surprised to see the roads in SM and even a part of EDSA flooded. It was past 9 and all of us were still stranded..

Rain, rain and more rain..wow..God must have love me..
<< >>
It was actually my birthday yesterday. First birthday in my "college" years.[ kelangan tlagang iemphasize??] Amazingly, it fell on a weekend, so I got to celebrate with my highschool buddies. Triple celebration nga eh, since 2 of my other friends were also having their birthday. A few came; there were only ten of us. Mr. Taro didnt even come..[uuyyy, sino un?] But who cares anyway??(Uh..duh?? me??..asa pa!! ) I had a blast being with the ten wonderful people who came.

It was the typical eat-and-watch-movie gimmick.. Sosyal kame this time, Shakey's kami kumain(may menu na, di lang sa fastfood!) Then we watched "The Wicker Man" which sucked!!! It sucked so much that it deserves a spot in any list of worst films ever.

We didn't know that it had flooded. The boys ate dinner and us, girls, did a bit of
shopping, as we wait for the rain to stop. Eh lalo atang lumakas. But everyone returned home safely naman, un nga lang si Albert inabot ata ng 11.

Nothing special happened after that. And I was not expecting for anything more. The lil'get-together was a blessing in itself (charriinngg!!) The simple fact that I didn't spend my bday alone, sobrang saya na ako dun.

Ay, meron pa lang nangyari..Share ko lang. I got to chat with Mr. Taro again..after more or less 2 months..Un na kaya ung blessing?? Yuck naman! Akala ko ba love ako ni Lord..Wla bang mas may kwentang blessing na maibibigay sakin..ung tipong may magandang idudulot sa pagkatao ko at pakikinabangan ko?? (hwahahaha..)

Cheering competition nga pala mamaya. Get ready Araneta.. Susugod na ang mga ISKO.. (Bka mafocus sakin ang camera at madiscover ako.. )Sana manalo ang UP Pep mamaya..UP FIGHT!!

** To Elaine, Kath, Ledg, Allan, Albert, Jerome, Mich and Lalaine..thanx for celebrating with me, even though the movie sucked, rained hard and you all had a hard time going home..**

To Shift or Not To Shift..

2006-08-23T19:23:00.000+08:00

???..Help..???

As early as April, just a month after the release of UPCAT results.. I've already put into mind to shift from Tourism to Business Admin.. O di ba? Confident!! Ni hindi pa ako nakakatungtong sa UP.. may plano na akong magshift ng course. At that time, it seemed easy. I thought, all I have to do is to keep my grades high and get subjects that B.A. would credit. Soon enough, the peach colored CBA building would welcome me to its doors.. It was a semi well-thought plan. But once the semester started, [ nabuksan ang mga mata ko sa hirap ng pagiging iska] I realized that my plans are heading to a dead-end..

Reason #1 MATH MAYHEM. Kung hindi mo pa nagagawang i-curse o kainisan man lang ang prof mo sa math O KAYA ang sarili mo, pwes, ikaw malamang ay isang henyo. Malamang graduate ka ng isang science high school, engineering ang course mo o kaya friend mo talaga sina x and y. :) Math17 ang sakit sa ulo ng nakararaming freshie. Ako, Math11 lang naman. Hindi sa hirap ako at kaunti na lang at mamatay na ako sa paghihikahos. Pero bumagsak ako sa first exam. It's depressing, insulting and threatening. Parang isang malaking sampal sakin at sa kapasidad ng utak ko ang bumagsak. Pano pa kaya kung Business Ad ako?? Eh mas madugo ang Math dun. And let's say mabiyayaan ako ng
grade na tres, ewan ko lang kung iprioritize ako ng BA as a shiftee. :)

Reason #2 EFFORT not ENOUGH!.. "I tried so hard..and got so far..but in the end, it doesn't even matter.." Anthem ko yan ngayon.. at feel ko hanggang mag-graduate ako. Kung dati nung high school, ang goal ko ay makaperfect sa exam..ngayon, goal ko ay pumasa. Ewan ko nga kung bakit eh. Todo review ako, pero pagdating sa mga exams.. wala. Gusto ko ng iyakan, pero dinadaan ko na lang sa tawa. Kung dati, lagi akong nasa taas ng class standing, ngayon hindi na. Wah!!

So..would i still try shifting?? I feel like it would just be a waste of time. Mahirap ng magkamali.

Wahhh!! Nababaliw na ako sa kakaisip. This is a crucial decision. My plans for shifting are still on hold.. Di pa naman tapos ang first sem..so pag-iisipan ko pa..

nakaupo na rin ako sa AS steps..

2006-06-17T22:05:00.000+08:00

Words..I am lost for words..

I'm just so overwhelmed with my first two days of classes, which were last Thursday and Friday. . Di ko maexplain..nakakapagod..nakakatuwa..nakakabaliw..but really fulfilling. Wala pa namang halos formal discussions. I just met my profs and classmates. The two days were basically practice runs for the real thing next week. Patikim kung baga. Pinaexperience samin ang tumawid from CAL to Palma, sumakay ng walang kamatayang ikot at toki, problemahin kung sapat ba ang 15 minutes para makakaabot sa susunod na klase sa kabilang dulo ng campus[masaklap toh!], mafreak-out na lahat ng classmate mo sa isang subject ay higher years lahat..[mas masaklap!], matrauma kung terror ung prof..ayun..

Everything is different..from St. Mary's that is. It's a totally different world. For one, wlang dasal. Walang maarteng greeting..during Eng1..my first class ever!.. nagplay sa head ko ang "May the Lord reward you" nung dinismiss kami. Haha.. You walk into a class and you dont know a single soul. You feel a sense of inferiority.. pero it doesnt trample on your ego.. kxe alam mong wlang magpapakasuperior.. pantay-pantay lahat..

I havent eaten any lunch yet in the campus. Kasalanan ng super-intact kong schedule. Akala ko advantage un.. Nakakapagod pa la.. Pero at least, di ako nagsasayang ng oras sa pagtambay.. Di pa nga ako nakakatungtong ng Casaa. Mirakulo ba ito?? Nalilipasan na nga ako ng gutom eh. Magka-ulcer kaya ako?? Nung vacant ko last Thursday..[vacant din ni Nikoz, Mark, Dycueco at Kathryn..sama-sama kami]..kinain ko lang ay Tortillos..

It was only 2 days.. but the stories seem so endless.. ganito lang cguro pag may bagong nangyayari sa buhay.. I realized that it's not as scary as I thought. Sanayan lang talaga..I mean, I do have to go to college right?.. Nagkataon lang at dinestino ako ni God sa UP. Alam ko, he has a reason for it. Am I deserving of it? I think, yes. And I'll be more than willing to accept the challenges; the ridiculous schedules..the terror-profs.. the long exams.. the 2-inch-thick readings for my Kas2.. the feeling of solitude[pag walang frend].. I know at the end of the line, all the hardwork will pay off..

For now, nanamnamin ko muna ung sakit ng lowerbody ko kakasakay ng jeep..kakaupo sa classes.. at kakalad.. :)

I love Sir Mangu!

2006-06-14T20:59:00.000+08:00

I went to school today.
I waited for NIkoz, dumating pero umalis agad.. di man lang nagpakita sakin..tsktsk..

I wasnt able to eat lunch coz I was waiting for someone[ulol!!!] wla lang talaga akong kasama..
Di ako makalibot, again wala akong kasama, at ayokong makita si f@3^$..

Ilang beses ko nga ata cyang nakasalubong..Di ko lang magawang tumingin sa kanya. Siya rin..walang pakealam. Hwahaha.

Nainis ako sa sarili ko. Isa na ko sa mahabang listahan ng mga napaiyak, pinaniwala at iniwan nya. At ung ibang tao na nagsabi dati na walang mangyayari samin.. ayon.. matunog nilang nasasabi ngaun.."Sabi na nga ba eh.." Kita ko un sa mata nila. Magaling ako eh.

Kainjanan nga nangyari ngaun eh. Ininjan ako ni f@3^$.. ni nikoz[kaxe may pinuntahan pa].. aun.. i ended up working alone sa itrc for 4 hours..

Bumaba ako around 2:30..may sumingit sa computer na pinagttrabahuhan ko.. God must really love me kaxe andun c Sir Mangu and Fatima.. Yup! c Fatima. At sa sobrang pagkaoverwhelmed ko.. umiyak ako sa harap nila.. Mahal ko c Sir Mangu and Fatima.. Cry baby na ako..fine.. Pero maxyado ng nasupress ung emotions ko kanina.. Biro mo, daanan ka lang. Haha..

Bumalik din ako sa ITRC. Kupal ung printer.. isa-isa mong ilalagay ung paper.. ung dapat na 15 minutes of printing naging isang oras.

At least may progress na sa yearbook.
At may progress na din cguro sa susunod na araw sa kawalang kwentahang pinagsasabi ko..
At lalong magkakaprogress sa mga ipopost ko..

Emotionally unstable lang tlaga cguro ako ngaun. Haha! :)

13..

2006-06-13T19:51:00.000+08:00

TODAY
was the freshman orientation. I was scheduled in the morning. I arrived sa theater together with Conanan[cant type his name eh], Frances, Nikoz, Elaine and Kath. Wuhoo!

I badly want to join the UP Pep Squad. Feel ko ang saya nila. Too bad, it takes me days to familiarize steps..tsktsk..asa pa akong matanggap. Drummers and dancers lang daw kelangan.. di ba nila kelangan ng tagasigaw man lang?? Unang-una akong mag-aaply.

After the orientation sa theater, nagwalkathon ang college ko..dun lang naman sa likod ng theater destinasyon namin. I met my blockmates. Okei naman sila. Pero mas gus2 ko sa kabilang block. 2 lalaki. Sa block ko, isa lang. Saklap noh? 3 lang guys na freshman sa course ko. Crush ko nasa kabilang block. Kaso ang panget ng name nya.."mark".. peace tau conanan! :) kasaklapan tlaga oh. gus2 nyo pa ng kasaklapan? meron sa block ko, girl naman.. i find her friendly. kso i asked her name.. sabi nya Maki.. wow! ano ba pinalalabas ni lord?.. chinachallenge ako ah..

At dahil nabored ako.. at sobrang wlang signal sa mga buildings sa UP.[di ko malaman kung intentional ba un pra wlang matetempt magtext] lumabas ako ng building..khit ongoing ang program.. [malaya na ako!].. at gaya ng inaasahan ko.. flood of messages..

Kak's text really gave me the fright.. "Mop, kakagalng lang namin sa skul..I think you need to know something".. Di naman ako slow.. Alam ko agad na it's about him. So tawag naman ako. It didnt even take 5 minutes before ako umiyak. Haha. Nazero na ang natitira kong self esteem. I feel so low and stupid. Take note: Music video dating.. Nglalakad ako..hawak ko ung fone ko..kausap c kak..kakatapos lang ulan..basa ung streets..and I was crying..di exag ah.. konti lang..humahangin..wla akong pake kahit binubusinahan na ako ng mga kotse kasi nasa gitna ako ng parking lot..

"I feel so victimized".. Dun na tlaga ako nagbreakdown. Khit pa cguro pathetic pakinggan.. I dont know how else would I put into words what I felt. Napaniwala ako sa mga bagay na akala ko totoo.. Umasa.. and lied to.. May process nga yan eh.. parang prutas.. may iba't ibang level.. hilaw-hinog-bulok.. of course ung in-betweens pa.. sa ngaun, im certified nasa bulok stage.

pu""a..g""o,f""k.. oy di ko toh gawain.. kung meron dapat sabihan nyan.. ay ako na lang.. haha.. tanga kxe eh..

Hindi ako galit.. bitter?? ewan.. Basta ipinagdadasal ko na lang, di dumami ang species nya. Or better yet, sana tumino na lang sya. Para nman magkaroon ng signifance ang existance nya sa mundo. I know he's a good person..sobra.. di lang nya cguro alam kung pano magpahalaga..may pagkagago rin.

Sa ngaun, hindi ko hinihiling na may dumating na bago..kaxe kung meron man, di ko alam kung may kapasidad pa kong maniwala sa mga sasabihin nya.. or would i even risk my feelings again. Tsaka sa itsura ng college ko na 3 lang ang lalaki.. ewan ko lang..

Basta. Bukas punta ko na skul. Bahala na.

and so i write again..

2006-06-07T22:26:00.000+08:00

my eyes never felt this heavy. i spent a good 30 minutes sobbing just 4 hours ago. that is after a whole day of holding back my emotions. di ko na kinaya eh. my tears are just dying to flow out of my eyes. I fell asleep after that.. And I would like to think that I'm okay now.

ndi ako naiyak nung nangyayari ung kasaklapan ng buhay ko. siguro, alam ko ng mangyayari un. i just didnt think it would happen early this day. but i guess, i had my defenses already.

i knew he was losing grip. and i was denying to myself the fact that i'm aware of it. i focused on trying to sew things together. but i guess the seams aren't enough.

i started the day early. i only had 5 hours of sleep. my mind was bothered..my esteem is close to being gone..i tried to sleep again but my sister's blabbing mouth wasnt any help. i thought.."God, I've been trying hard to be a good kid.. all im asking from you now is for me to sleep, dont you think i deserve that?"

after a few minutes, i was already sitting on our dining table. Subo lang ako ng subo ng hindi man lang nalalasahan kinakain ko. i dont want to be a wreck.

but since im still unstable, i asked for reinforcements. kakak went to save me. she dragged me to the mall just to get my mind off things.. but the more did i get reminded.. the brownies.. tokyo tokyo.. shakeys.. she almost slapped me when i tried to speak of him again.

all i know now, is im okay with everything. if he wants to remain friends.. i would gladly settle for it. he is a good friend in the first place. there are just things you dont get.. and you have to be thankful to what is being offered to you.

he hasnt texted yet..and i dont know if he'll ever text again. i wouldnt be a hypocrite to say that i feel no pain. im full of it. im so scared. but i just dont want to resolve it by crying..or sourgraping. this is just a phase. and soon enough everything will be okay.

wala lang...

2006-05-17T13:50:00.000+08:00

It's a wednesday!

I slept almost three in the morning.. I stayed up listening to the sounds of raindrops falling on our neighbor's roof and texting like there's no tomorrow.. haha..

Because I have a sleeping disorder..that my body has set a specific wake-up time.. I, unwillingly, opened my super sleepy eyes at 7 am..that was followed by a series of curses running through my head.. "damn..pucha..bakit ang aga ko na naman nagising??.."
~
I'm starting a diet!..again. Yup, u read it right. I'm going to lessen my food intake! haha.. Amazingly, my mind and body seem to be working with each other.:) Don't worry, I wont turn into a anorecsic-psycho-diet-obessessed-bolemic.. I'm just going to eat less and get my body working. :) haha.. There's mo assurance though that it would be a success.
~

I'm really looking forward to American Idol later. Top 3 will be performing. I badly want Taylor and Elliot to be on the finals..though I know Katherine deserves it too.. but then.. I love Taylor and Elliot! Have two guys in the finals for a change. :)
~
Karla went here in our house yesterday. She "bluetoothed" some of her cam pictures into the pc..and uploaded it to friendster.. haha.. then we ate lunch..hanged out..waste time.. so there..i got the pictures uploaded in my friendster and multiply.. share ko lang!!..
~
It has been raining a lot lately.. so I might go for a lay-out overhaul again. :) hehe..

burden free!

2006-05-14T17:04:00.000+08:00

written: may 13
posted: today!! haha..

You have to sacrifice for pleasure. tsktsk.

Nothing more would fit into that statement than my enrollment yesterday. It was my first time to pay tuition on my own. [technically, i have my dad waiting for me outside] It's a bit empowering though. :) At the back of your mind, you'd think.. 'Gees..I'm doing things on my own." Then that sense of pride would totally be eradicated after a few calls from your parent asking you how your doing.. Is the word TRUST even in their vocabulary??? Before the enrollment, I had a college briefing in our own college building. Nothing special about that. I arrived exactly 8. To my surprise, only 5 seats were left. I sat beside parents of other tourism freshies.

My dad is nowhere to be found because he stayed in the car. Apparently, it was raining so hard and he cant get out. So i spent almost 2 hours pretty much looking at my cellfone[there was no signal!] and checking my watch. I received my Form 5 there.[that's where you'd see your enlisted subjects] My PE got moved to a TF schedule..and i lost my Kas1. I got 15 units all in all, but my dad insisted I get 18 units. which meant 1 more subject for me.

Next destination was the Palma Hall. I was lucky to arrive there early. There were a number of people already there, but not so much that I have to stand. I met new faces. It become almost a necessity to go and talk to somebody because you wouldnt want to spend your time waiting, talking to yourself. :) I forgot their names. All I know is that I was sandwiched by two gay guys.. friendly but they talk a lot.. tinalo nila kadaldalan ko.

After waiting for more than an hour.. i received my form 5A. [that's the final list of your subjects] after having them evaluated, i can now pay my tuition. Too bad, it was past 12 and the personnel's lunch break. and so my saga continues.. I've wasted another hour waiting..talking to people..getting hungry and bored as ever.

The whole process took 5 hours, 2 from the briefing, 3 for the enrollment.. only 5 hours..[only?? hehe] but it felt so much longer than that. I was undeniably exhausted that once I finished I badly wanted to dig in into a feast and celebrate. I think you'd just forget how tired you are once you realize how much money you'd save. I guess, the 5 hours of sacrifice was worth..to think that you've saved your parents burden.

Oh.. My dad told me he's proud of me later that night..that's the first time.. :)

wednesdays.. i'm free!!

2006-05-13T14:16:00.000+08:00

na naman!!

2006-05-09T14:50:00.000+08:00

after almost a month from submitting my resume, McDonald's[west ave.] finally called me up.

was i psyched???

NO!
because it totally got in the way of my plans for tomorrow..

and my so-called plans have to be set for "next time"..

haaayyy..lagi na lang..

..i'm a bit pissed..

but then again..setting my priorities straight and inclining it to reality.. i need to consider the summer job.. after all, if i miss the test tomorrow.. there will be no next time for me..kung meron man..next summer na ulit..

how i just wish tomorrow's test will all be worth taking..
pag ako ndi nila i-hire.. ewan ko na lang..

F-137

2006-05-09T11:22:00.000+08:00

i learned a very important lesson today..

.. never hesitate to ask...

i went to school thinking i could grab hold of the original transcript of records UP is requiring..
i clearly asked the registrar for the original transcripts..
but then, turns out they dont give that unless you bring them the request from UP..
now why did they even entertain me in the first place???..
they could've just told me..tsktsk..
and why didn't i even bother to ask if i'll get an evaluation copy or the original ones??..now who's stupid? i am!!

i wasted money..and time..
hehe..but it's okay.. at least now i know..

if circumstances gives you a bit of uncertainty.. ASK..
it would take less from you..
it is certainly better than you formulating your own conclusions..assuming and at the end you'll just get disappointed.. :D
there are things you'll just never know..question you'll never have answers to.. but then maybe.. if you freakin use your common sense..swallow a bit of your pride.. and ask... then it would be easy..

may ipinapahiwatig ba ako?? malay..cguro sa sarili ko..haha.. aun..

i'm lame!

2006-05-05T17:11:00.000+08:00

im blogging right now because i'm trying to keep myself from texting him. I dont know what the hell is wrong with me, what the hell im trying to prov -or make that what the hell i'm trying to make him prove to me.

i dont want to be difficult or in anyway be a "paimportante." i just dont want to be the one making things work.

i admt, my paranoia is getting into me again. you see, i easily get overwhelmed..and sometimes when i know what i want,i go out of my league. before, i overdosed a "jerk" with texts and phone calls, which i knew he got tired of eventually.. and i ended up losing him and my pride. i just dont want that to happen again. it seem pretty lame of me, to play this "let-me-avoid-him" game..

but just once, i want things to be right. i'm not a patriot of traditionalism. i dont believe what they say that if you're an xy you should wait for an xx ..but maybe this time, I should because afterall if I mean something to him, he would definitely stretch himself out.

there's nothing wrong with our texts marathons. i appreciate every word and thoughts shared.. but as always you can fake it..put a smiley and it would seem as if you're already happy..i'm just getting tired. almost everything is the same. i feel stranded. it's hard when i got my feet on the clutch..but his is still on the brakes..there's no way of moving forward.. maybe, i expected more from him..and well, i aint getting it..

hmm..i'm just assuming anyway..

it's past 5 already and he hasn't texted still..maybe he's just busy or maybe he's waiting for my text..im stupid am i? im putting myself in pain..but what the hell..maybe truth does hurt..

i miss him.. but i want him to miss me.. i just dont know if he will ever feel that way..or just when.

Kakak Bit Me!!!

2006-05-04T19:36:00.000+08:00

i went to school[ again! ] to finalize things for our yearbook. 4 of the staff came[that includes me], Karla tagged along.. Jen was there but didnt bother to approach us.. and our moderator-slash-supervisor was nowhere to be found. So basically, all we did was to plan and just chat with one another. we took pictures around the school. [ hopefully, it would all turn out great. ]

nikoz already has a course in UP. yehey! he said, he will to shift to BS Psychology.. hhmm.. aq din kaya..

Haha.:D

then i went to Karla's house. i simply spent 5 hours there. wasted time chatting and telling stories. haha.. i missed Kakak so much. good thing she leaves near my place. i could visit her anytime. Mataba na daw ako sabi niya. Hahaha.. I got 3 bites from her. [ nanggigil ata ] Nagsabunutan na nga kame halos e. We talked about boys..and make-up..and kissing[ asa!! ] Haha.kunwari lang!! Wla kaming magawa.. lumamon lang ng Pringles at lumaklak ng Pop Cola!

newei..walang kwenta na naman post ko.. :D next time matino na.. malalim pa.. haha!

trip lang..

2006-05-02T13:26:00.000+08:00

I just came back from school. Nilakad ko ung Form-137(transcript of records ata). I
was sent to the Registrar's Office, just to see a number of people already lined up.
[note: 9:00 am un] Hehe..Enrollment na pala ulit.Nakipila ako sa mga magulang..makukulit na magulang! After around 20 minutes of standing up, nakahingi rin ako ng request..then paid at the cashier.

Nakita ko si Kathleene. Then of course, nandun c Favis and other SCL officers. Hmm. I hanged-out with Jabby and Mark. Punta kame ng internet cafe, para magtype ng test for the trainees. Aun..ako pa ang nagtype..tsktsk..

Un lang naman. Boring pa rin ang buhay ko! Haha. :D

mahabang post!

2006-04-30T19:56:00.000+08:00

After months of not attending mass, my conscience finally won over my stubborn body. I got out of my bed around 7:40, went straight to the bathroom, bathe, got dressed and just walked my way to the chapel. Uyy..may calling c God sa akin!! Haha. For some reason, I just felt guilty. God has given me so much, the least I can do is to attend a 1 hour mass. :D Next week ulit!

Sa UP, wla ng dasal dasal. Kahit na paniniwala ko ay di kelangan magsimba ng linggo-linggo para maging isang mabuting Katoliko, e ano ba naman ang isang oras sa isang linggo. :D Haha.. enough of the religious crap..

May would officially start tomorrow. woohoo!
I got pass 32 days in my freaking boring house!!!
Hmm.. dahil wala akong ginagawa..I thought of making a week sched! Haha.. Mapapansin nyong maikli lang un..dahil wala naman tlaga akong ginagawa kundi tumambay at magpakabored..

monday, may 1 - tambay sa bahay! walang pasok tatay ko! good luck sa kin..nasa bahay na naman cya..grrr..
tuesday, may 2 - punta sa school, kuha ng form-137. Malaki ang problema ng nanay ko sa form-137 na yan.. di nya kasi magets ung instructions sa letter ng UP. aun,pinapakuha pa rin ako..
wednesday, may 3 - birthday ni tenten! ewan ko kung may celebration..hehehe..
thursday, may 4 - punta ulit sa school, yearbook stuff. sana naman matapos na toh!
friday, may 5 - blangko!!! need i say more??
saturday, may 6 - blangko rin!!! hahaha.. i'm starting to hate weekends..

ayan..haha..:D feel ko talo ko pa ung mga teens sa loob ng PBB house. khit wala clang internet at cellphones, aircon cla all day..di nauubsan ng pagkain..maraming pwedeng kausapin..tska madaming gwapong pwedeng karirin.. haha..:D d2 wala! B-O-R-I-N-G!!

done with it!

2006-04-26T17:03:00.000+08:00

just finished my medical examination today.
first plan was to do it in Healthway[isang health clinic..duh?] kso may payment..
then my dad suggested another medical clinic..which i can get examinations 4 free..kso since nagsusummer ate ko.. walang makakasama sa akin..
so aun..i ended up in UP..
i'm happy i took it there..
i actually met a lot of nice people.
hehe..:D
i met 3 guys..[sabihin nyo na naman malandi ako,mas madali lang kasi kausapin eh..for me..] didn't catch their name though..
but they were so kalog..
i guess i shouldnt be that scared of having to go through the hassle of making friends..
coz i guess if u'r nice enough they'll come to you..
haha..
aun..
so i'll get the results on friday..
finalize my medical requirements..
then wait for the confirmation of my schedule..
then by may 12, i guess i'll be officially a UP student na..
eekkee..

random thought..pang-ilan na ba??

2006-04-25T10:20:00.000+08:00

hmm..
ngaun ko lang natripang magpost..
hindi naman sa tinatamad ako..
hindi lang cguro conjusive and weather for my brain to function..
nah..i'm only kidding..
i've been writing a lot this summer..
so i still keep my randon thoughts noted..
hindi ko lang pinopost..
cguro...there are just things that i rather keep to myself.. haha.. ano kaya un??
if i have more tym..probably over the weekend.. i'll post some..

but for now..

1) Nag-sun na ako. April 13, 2006(tanda ko pa), pagkabangon ko sa kama, diretso sa tindahan para bumili ng sim. Haha. Ang shitty kasi ng globe. Laging sending failed pag nagrequest ka for their so-called "Unlimitxt".
2) Nakapreenlist na ako ng subjects for the first sem. Guess what my P.E. is. SOCIAL DANCE. Why?...I've been asking myself the same question. Haha.
3) Wala pa akong napupuntahan this summer. From March 30..up to now.. i have been stuck here in our house. Except nung April 4, I went to Liezl's birthday.
4) I'm close with my dad again. I guess, I've always been a daddy's girl. But then around early March, di kami maxyadong nag-usap. Laging galit sakin, wala naman akong ginagawa. Then, I think it was last friday, I texted him. I told him that I needed to talk to him. Ayun, we stayed up until 11, watching TV and I told him most of the things I wanted to say. Casual lang. Haha. I told him that I lost his scientific calculator. I told him I don't like being reprimanded. As in prangkahan lang. But I missed on saying one thing..:D
5) I've fallen for someone. You know what I find a little disturbing, I always find it easy to write my feelings about a person, but for some reason when it comes to this guy, I always get short on words.

Hmm.. It's only been one month.. but so many things happened.

Everyday may seem like a routine to me.. but there's always a sense of unpredictability..

Anyway, I think I've written a long one already.
I'll keep on posting.
I miss you guys! Keep in touch.:D

droppin by..

2006-04-16T20:48:00.000+08:00

My sister keeps on insisting that we move to another house, somewhere near UP. I dont want to. I dont want to make too many changes, too soon. It would drive me crazy.

quick question. is it bad to wake up in the morning..and the first person you think of is the same person you thought of last, before you sleep??? hhmm.. oh my god! what's happening to me...

2006-03-21T18:29:00.000+08:00

may the road rise up to meet you

2006-03-21T18:00:00.000+08:00

thanksgiving is over.
i dont know if it's something i should be happy about. but i am thankful to the Lord that He showered me with so many blessings all my life. I am so grateful that He gave me my friends.. who I am now missing.. how much more after i graduated..

thansgiving general rehearsal

2006-03-19T17:33:00.000+08:00

arrived by 12.15: surprised some people were already there: still waited for people i can sensibly talk to: raissa arrived but she's in a bad mood: i can't talk to anyone: i was overly hyped up that i was talking 6 words per second: mostly nonsense: went to the audi: got bored: loved the mic: it was already amplified: didn't have to exert much effort in speaking: batch got shouted at by ms. carbo: had 2 run downs of the mass: got bored: wanted to sleep so badly: got dismissed: waited for him: met him: went to sm: went to fuji to get grad pic recopied: slow service that we left: went to mcdo: ate: took pictures: roam around: saw cresta.maan and diana:went home by 7.30. :)

random thought # 6

2006-03-09T16:22:00.000+08:00

blessing in disguise rin ang pag-aabsent ko.. kasi nagawa ko na ang pinakahihintay na editorial article ng aming school paper.. na dapat ginawa ko pa last month.. talk about cramming!!:) kaya naman di ako magtataka kung bakit ako sinabon ni Ms. Victor. Hahaha..

random thought.# 5

2006-03-09T16:15:00.000+08:00

i dont know how black people do it. i was listening to the radio.. and my god.. i cant believe im listening to a song bout two people getting it on. c'mon.. and they even call themselves artists.. where's the art in that?? it's not even music! the funny thing is, some people actually stand to hear it.. it's not even a song, all you dummies...all you hear are syllables getting repeated 5 or 6 times.. I felt bad to think that there are so many musicians who actually have the talent, who ultimately deserves to be heard...

random thought # 4

2006-03-09T16:05:00.000+08:00

Natapos ko na ang Stainless Longganisa. Ewan ko kung paano i-aassess ang librong to. Unang beses kong magbasa ng librong sulat ni Bob[close kami].. Masayang basahin kasi lakas ng hirit nya.. at the same time..alam mo pa rin na may pinararating cya... at kung ano ung pinararating. Aliw din ako kasi maraming bagay siyang naisulat, tungkol sa pagiging manununulat, na nakatama sa akin. Hahahaha. Specifically.."May mga bad trip na editor kung minsan, pero kailangan pa rin natin sila kadalasan. kaya kung hindi mo matanggap na itama ng iba ang mga mali mo, hindi para sa'yo ang pagsusulat." Ako?? Di naman sa ayaw kong ineedit gawa ko, ayaw ko lang mabigyan ng ibang boses ang dapat na boses ko.. dahil kung ano mang reaksyon ng ibang makakabasa, sa akin magrereflect.. di sa taong pilit na nagbago..

random thought # 3

2006-03-09T15:02:00.000+08:00

in continuation dun sa r.t.# 2... kagustuhan ko pa rin ang masusunod. Di ko kayang pilitin sarili kong magmahal kung wala talaga. Para ka lang tangang nagpupumilit tumae ni wala ka namang kinain. Walang kahihinatnan. Kung pipiliin mo naman ung mahal mo, swerte ka kung gusto ka. Pero kung wala.. eh.. halos ganun din. Pero may prinsipyo ako noh. Kung pipiliin ko ang isang taong ayaw ko, sa kadahilanang baka matutunan ko rin syang mahalin, aba.. ang sama ko naman nun. Ayaw kong laruin ang puso ng ibang tao. Dahil mas masakit, kung masasaktan ko sya dahil lang gusto kong lumigaya.

random thought # 2

2006-03-09T15:01:00.000+08:00

matagal na tong tanong na to..sino pipiliin mo, taong mahal mo o yung taong mahal ka??? may sagot ka na ba?? kung meron, baka maari nyo akong payuhan.[pakilagay na lang ang inyong payo sa tagboard].. dahil mababaliw na ako sa kakaisip!!!!

random thought # 1

2006-03-08T17:14:00.000+08:00

huwag kayong humiling ng mga bagay tulad ng "Sana magkasakit ako, para di ako magpractice ng mga walang kakwenta-kwentang bagay.. Ang init kasi.. boring pa".. Lalo na pag nasa harap kau ng Diyos[chapel kasi eh]..dininig ako ng Panginoon.. at ako ngaun ay nagsusuka, di makakain, nilalagnat, umiinom ng pamatay ng gamot[ang panget ng lasa]at nagdudusa.. BOW...

UNANG ARAW

2006-03-05T20:29:00.000+08:00

this is not d whole lyrics.. but lines that triggered how i'm feeling..

ngayon wala ka na
kailangang masanay na muling nagiisa
saan ka na kaya..

huwag mo akong sisihin
kung minsan ika'y hanapin
ito ang unang araw na wala ka na..
ito ang unang araw na wala ka na.

nasanay lang sigurong nandyan ka
di ko inaakalang pwede kang mawala..
ayan na nga..

nababato nalulungkot
luha’y napapawi ng singhot
at talukbong ng kumot

3.29.06

2006-03-05T20:25:00.000+08:00

Now I understand why Peter Pan never wanted to grow up.

There are things you wish to hold on to.. like your childhood or your now-smelly-pillow you had since you’re three. But how cruel time can be.. that it forbids you to keep them. How I wish everything can just stay the same. How I wish my school can be a little Neverland. And all of us, like the lost boys, can stay as what we are.

They say friendship can withstand distance or time. It’s may be true to some people. But what if the friendship is still trying to build a firm foundation?? Wouldn’t it be such a waste if..[I hope not].. be melted away by this so-called college. I sound so pessimistic.. funny.. maybe I’m just afraid. Why did I meet some people this late? Why do I have to leave them so soon?

I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to graduate. I can’t blame myself. I have built my world around my home and Mary’s... for 11 years.. more than half my life!!!
I love waking up in the morning, though I can be stubborn sometimes, see people I don’t like or get stressed out. I love my friends. They’re my main reason why I go to school. Ironically, they’re also the main reason for all this uncertainty.

Wah!! This is driving me nuts!!! All I know is March 29 would be the worst day of my life. Maybe not.. but somehow close to being worst..

...ooohhhhwwwweeee...

2006-01-28T07:19:00.000+08:00

into the realm of magic..

whoopsie.. i think i'm getting a hang-over from last night..
so far.. the only things i've thought of, from the moment i opened my eyes, 30 minutes ago.. were my semi-hard-rock hair{thanks to the tons

of spraynet put onto my hair].. getting my hair curled[seriously].. and.. my last dance..
with whom? the same person who made a great deal out of my prom last year...
haha.. occasional nga eh.. tuwing prom lang.. joke..

There's nothing magical with promenades especially if you're a stag.
I was a stag.. I spent most of my time with my friends..
And there's nothing magical about that.. haha.. coz we dance like hell and like kids...
Haha.. especially to "Don't Cha"..
Cresta made pretty good moves with that song last night..

Cut the crap and get to the point Nadine!!!
I was already gettin bored half an hour towards the end..
I was getting pissed coz I haven't danced with him..
But thank God for my friends who literally dragged me towards him..
Stickwitu was playin.. and it was the last line..
Then we went for another song..
Last Chance..
Hanep ba? For some reason, I felt like my night was complete..
We talked.. silly conversations..
about is red bow tie.. and that we voted him as prom king..
I felt wonderful..

Then the song was cut..

Two minutes left..
The song played again..
But I thought I saw him dance with another girl..
I wanted hom to be my last dance.. so I left the dance floor..

Kak, Ten and I went to third floor..
I was able to see him there.. when we're about to go..
He said the most wonderful words..

The magic is over...
I went home..
And now writing about it...

I wish I could've said things..
I wish I could've just held his hands..
But that was enough..

On Monday..
Things will go back..
I'm not wearing my gown..no make-ups..no sweet music..no ambiance..
it's not prom anymore..
...set aside my wishful thinkings..

WWAAAHHH!!!

2005-10-01T17:42:00.000+08:00

Sa monday na lalabas ung Imprint..

Ms. Victor showed it to me yesterday. I'm disappointed with myself. I knew I could have controlled things better but I didn't. I chose not to. I was ecstatic to be given the position of EIC but to see the fruit of our labor look like nothing but trash..[ I knew Marians wouldn't like it].. it all suddenly became pointless to me. I don't want it to come out because there were a lot of errors.. I'm not happy with it, nor would the whole school though.... I humbly accept it was all my fault...

Damn! I have so much hopes for our paper to improve. I wanted it to change but I failed. We failed.

I badly want to write with freedom. I knew that it's the only way to get Marians into reading the paper. But that I cannot do. I feel like a wreckless, irresponsible mut. I have a lot of things to say, but I don't think people would relate to. I can't wirte as frankly as I want because I admit, I'm afraid of our moderator. I have grades to protect. I'm a robot. Yet I have proven, that the more I try to please her, the more I get disgusted with my work. Little by little, my hands are losing their urge to write. And I'm hating myself!!!

I'm stressed in a lot of ways. My Physics and Math grades are on the verge of failing. When I'm in school I feel tired. I always feel tired. When I get home, all I want to do is to cry in my room, but I can't.. or else my mom will bombared me with questions. I'm stressed! And the frightful thing is, I can't say exactly why I feel this way. I'm pressured with my grades. My family is in a financial crisis. Though my parents try hard not to show it, I know very well. And the more pressure it have given me. I don't want them to get disappointed. College entrance exams are everywhere, and I know their putting their hopes up again! Then there's this school paper.. which if wouldn't be appreciated, would somehow bring damage to myself. Then I'm in a class.. where you would never know who's really true to you.

God! I hate my life right now!!!

I'M BACK

2005-08-24T20:12:00.000+08:00

I’ve been really busy for the past weeks.. duh? Di ba obvious…

Hmmmm… I’m done with the Imprint. Well almost... I figured I still haven’t written one article but it wouldn’t matter. I’m tired of contemplating and writing and editing.. and all that crap. Uy.. crap daw oh.. joke. I love my work [A.S.A.] .. sana lang I get something worth while out of it.. like money… that would be nice.. ka-ching!

We’ve just been transferred to another classroom, which actually sucks! It’s a freakin’ oven!.. It so hot it could kill… nah.. I’m only kidding but it’s really hot! Umaga pa lang, nanlalagkit ka na sa pawis! Eeewwww! Kasi naman, bakit pa napilayan ung first year na un. Tsk..tsk..tsk. Nalayo pa ako lalo kay #@!9%. Ni di ko na nga makausap nung katabi ko ng classroom.. wat more pa ngaun?.. baka pagbalik namin dun [after 3 months].baka din a ko kilala nun… Gosh.. hirap talaga pag mahal mo na! well.. pahirapan na lang tlaga..

Change topic. Since my class is blessed with such English literate teachers (ehem.. lightning. Strike me right now!) I’ve decided to post their grammatical errors and senseless statements.. Para kahit magcollege na ako at malayo sa SMC kong mahal.. I still have something to look back at.. and laugh my ass off with. Harhar..

So for 2day…
According to…

Big-Eyed Bisaya,
“Have not buy”… (WTF!!!! Okay lang sana kung di cya English teacher!)

Chin-So-Sharp,
“Count to three, all papers come to me” (Bago bang nursery rhyme ng next generation)

Is this the educators St. Mary’s are offering? Well duh... How would they expect Marians to be?? when their own English teachers don’t even know how and when to use past participle of verbs. Hay!

Kaya huwag na huwag akong hahamunin nyang si Big-Eyed Bisaya. Tinawag pa ko nyang tanga. Hhhmmppp. I’ll save my rage for the next post. Hehe.

Got to go.
I’m out.

... mabilis lang toh..

2005-07-26T19:02:00.000+08:00

so... bukas na ang fudsale... sa wakas!!!! after how many times of rescheduling.... hehe...

uuummm.... i've already given mommy lai d gift... hopefully, everything goes as planned...

uuurrrggghhh... i don't want tomorrow to come... aalis sya for 3 days... hhmmm... but i guess.. sa sobrang pagkapreoccupied ko.. 3 days would be nothing... b4 i knew it.. battalion na at dadating na cla...

well... got to go...
test for tom: MATH, PHYSICS, ENGLISH[kung present na c gumban!!].. wait.. 3 major subjects na yan ah... tpos CL pa.. hehe..

i'm out!

wat wud i look like after 25 years?!?

2005-07-23T22:09:00.000+08:00

i went to the alumni homecoming..

...which if i may say so, turned out to be one big picture-taking moment...

hehe... everyone looked decent.. i wore my beige dress... i didn't wear pink nor a skirt and white blouse ensemble coz i knew almost every girl would be wearing that.

i arrive around 11.30am.. went to lunch at KFC with tulungin peeps.. and some sunurin.. went back to school.. got to the audi... saw the people I wanted to see... smiled.. giggled.. [lam nyo na kung bakit].. watched the program... made kulit with Mr. Mangulabnan... picture taking.. picture taking.. picture taking.. talk.. laugh.. freeze... laugh...

i wondered what would we look like after 25 years... actually what would I be after 25 years.. i can't really picture myself... i guess it's one thing i wouldn;t like to picture out... it's cute to see all those faces of the ladies from batch '80 light up as they see their batchmates... i hope we'd be like that...

then off to dinner at the gym... i love my barkada talaga... we all sat together.. but we never really talked to each other.. i was trying to find my crush... samala was with clarence.. karla and hazel got thier own things.. ten was videoing someone... but we're together....

then there was a raffle... i joined but didn't win... sayang P50.00 ko.. I swear.. dinoktor yun.... lahat ng major promise.. sa kani-kanila lang...nabawasan pa tuloy pambili ko ng gift.. pero okay lang...

tomorrow is another day....
i'll be finishing all my assignments tomorrow...
and hopefully on monday, i'll get to take the whole day for myself

2005-07-22T21:05:00.000+08:00

i haven't written anythin yet about my retreat... kakagaling lang ng tulungin sa retreat nila eh... i've been really busy, and i mean really BBBBBUUUUUSSSSSSSYYYY!
non-stop requirements are driving me nuts...

top things i loved about my retreat
top # 5 - mrs. wilma sediego - ipagdasal nyo na cya ang chaperon ng class nyo! promise! hindi cya nananaway.. nagagalit or nagababantay man lang...deh.. di naman...pero sometimes you wouldn't even feel that she's there. she slept earlier and woke up later than us. hehe.. so lahat ng kalokohan nyo.. LUSOT!
top # 4 - BUKO TART!!- if i had more money i would have bought 5 boxes of it... pero mas masarap ata ung mango tart.. cno man magreretreat.. papabili ako ulit..
top # 3 - labyrinth - i went into d labyrinth twice. one was at night with all my classmates. sana lang hindi malabo ang mata ko. nagblack-out nga mata ko for about point something seconds. you're only guide will be a candle... but it was fun!
top # 2 - the weather - afternoons are usually warm.. but at nights and early dawn, it cud get a bit cold. it's nice to take morning strolls. take time for yourself and sit on the swing... un nga lang madaming insects... kaya nasisira ang pagkasenti ko! joke!!! di ko ginawa un...
1. the break - 3 days away from the hussles of school.. no assignments.. no pollution.. no traffic noise.. no worries. Man, it was amazing. It made me wish that everyday was just like that. I got to spend time with my friends. All throughout the retreat, I was with Rizza, Kten, Nads, Anna and Cresta. Evryday we wud sit together during meals. We always stay in one room. At night we would all cuddle together in one bed.. even if it's too sikip.

Bottom line... bitin ung retreat! hehe...

La akong maisip na title...

2005-07-09T18:13:00.000+08:00

It's a weekend!

I woke up with very sore shoulder-slash-chest muscles. I guess, because of the push-ups yesterday. I can't even lift it much but it'll pass in a few days.. hopefully :)

I'm starting to make "retreat" letters for my classmates. I'm sooo excited for my retreat. 3 days not being at home, how much better can it get? hhhmmm.. wait.. that actually sucks.. no TV.. no radio.. no cellphone.. no telebabad.. and not being able to see my crush... WHOA! That really sucks. Then again... this comes only once. There'll be no assignments, no Ms. Gumban and Pitpitan to put up with.. hehehe...

I'm looking forward to my retreat letters.. Sana may magbigay.. lalo na cya[asus!!!] Hahaha.. I juz hope he'll keep his promise.

Nadine S., Kristen, Rizza and Cresta will be coming over here tomorrow. We'll be working on our powerpoint presentation. I haven't told my dad about it. Surprise ko na lang sa kanya bukas. Hehehe.

Well.. I guess that's all 4 now. I'm doing my homework in physics. Got to finish this first.

I'M NOT LOSING HIM

2005-07-08T20:57:00.000+08:00

I have thought about it... actually, a lot.

Things didn't changed today. We still are both passive to each other. No hi's.. no hello's, no smiles.. nothing...

And I guess, if I'll let my common sense run, it would tell me that he's just not interested. Ewan ko pero I felt na napilitan lang talaga cya before dhil sa lahat ng pang-aasar ng tao. And now, maybe he just got fed up. I hated it before when they teased us non-stop but ironically, the worse I feel now that everything stopped. Nothing can be more painful than when a person you consider as someone... just passes you by, as if you're a thin air. It hurts. Unfortunately, that's what's happening.

I'm not mad at him. I'm not mad at anyone. It just sucks that it's turning out just like what happened between me and the junior guy. Before I know it, it would be as if we don't know each other. Sana naman di mangyari un.

U know what I realized today? What I'm feeling for him is more than just an infatuation. I guess, when it starts to hurt then that's something else right?

But u know wat? I don't care if he doesn't talk to me. I don't care if he doesn't call. I don't care if he even forgets me [uy.. huwag namang ganyan]... I don't care if he doesn't even like me. All I know is I like him. I do. And so far right now, nothing will change that. If things will get better, then I'm happy. If it won't, then I'll figure something out for myself.

It's all part of liking or loving someone. It's not always that the other person will feel the same. Sometimes you have to take a risk.. you have to get hurt. But I guess, I've been hurt many times, do I deserve another one? I don't know. I prayed for someone to come. He came eh.

allow me to cry...

2005-07-07T18:39:00.000+08:00

Hahaha.. I promised I would never cry pero kanina, ewan ko ba, I just did. I guess, my heart just gave up.

I was at the quad with Raissa when his barkada, including him, passed in front of us. He didn't even bother to say anything. I know it's quite low, but if you're on my position, you'll get hurt too. We talk comfortably on the phone but never did he even try approach me in school. Very seldom does he say hi. Was he just shy? I don't think so.

Last Monday, I gave myself a deadline.. that if on this week, nothing happens, I'll give this up. I'll give him up. I wouldn't want to wait or hope on something that will never come.

What frigthens me most is that tomorrow is the last day.

Kristen told me that if I have feelings for him.. and if that feeling is real.. it doesn't necessarily mean that he should feel the same for me. I should just be happy liking him.

NILALAGNAT AKO!

2005-06-07T17:45:00.000+08:00

The morning was all about my UP application form. I woke up with a fever. My eyes are drowsy and I feel woozee.. but I'm alright.

I went to the bank to pay some fees. Ilang beses kaming nagkamali ni mom. Hehe. Good thing the guard was patient in assisting us. Then we went straight to the school. Grabe. Ang dami kong kapalpakan. Some parts of the Form 1 were left unfilled. Malay ko ba? Akala ko school na bahala doon.

My mom was just so anxious, makulit and worried. Kulang nalang talagang patulan ko eh.

I read the guidelines posted on the Guidance Office and that's the only time I realized that I was so stupid. If only I took the time to read those before, edi sana maayos lahat. I went to the registrar's office to pass my form 1. Karla was there. Mark, Kristine, Jamie was there to pick their forms up. Charlyn and Charmaine was about to pass theirs like me.

Grabe! Lakas talagang maningil ng school ko. Tsk..tsk..tsk. Biro mo pinagbayad pa kami ng 35.00 pesos. What for?? Ay, I didn't bother to ask. They'll only say it's for the service blahblah..

So my form 1 is all taken cared off. Just waiting for June 10, and I'll be passing everything. Gosh. Can't believe I'm really preparing for college!

sana may cameraphone ako...

2005-05-30T13:37:00.000+08:00

WHOA! What a day this has been!

If I cud put it in a single word... hhhmmm... well i just can't.

It was amazing, super fun and unbelievably real. I want to pinch myself over and over just to make sure that everything is as true as what I think they are.

Grabeh na toh!! I heard in RX 93.1 just a few days ago that they'll be featuring Sugarfree in one of their "concert series". I and my sister, being BIG fans of SUGARFREE, decided to go since it's just in SM North EDSA. So pumunta kami. The gig was supposed to start at 5.oo. Pero filipino time.. kay nagstart ung gig few minutes before 6.00. Opening act was Cueshe. New band, but I heard their debut single before. They were really good. They are able to pull off their songs sounding really great live. Galing din nila. Instant fans kami ng ate ko. Astig songs nila..

Dahil open venue yun, may access ung fans sa mismong band. Lalapit ka lang. So dun kami pumwesto ni ate. Makalipas ang ilang minuto.. habang kumakanta ang cueshe.. dumating na ang Sugarfree. WWAAHH! c Ebe! c Jal at c Mitch. I just bought Dramachine about an hour before the show and would you believe it, I was able to get it signed! Really!!!

Nagsimula na ung ibang peeps na pumunta kay Ebe. Eh determinado ata ako. I went there. I
approached the flock of Sugarfree fanatics who hudled in front of him. I got through. I handed Ebe my CD. I was shaking. He was saying something. I think he was asking for my name. But I can't hear him because of the band. He kept on uttering words. So I just said, "Nadine. Nadine name ko." And he wrote my name. He gave it back and I thanked him.

Jump for joy!! For some seconds there, I felt high. My hands were still shaking and I just kept on laughing coz things seemed unreal.

Tpos I saw other people going to the other band members.. so balik ako. First was to Mitch. Nice dude. Then to Jal who I got to conversre with. Bait din. Wahhhh!!!.. Bait nilang lahat. Karamihan ng nandun kodakan lang ng kodakan kay Ebe. Eh la kaming cameraphone ni ate.. Sad. Pero okay lang.

I already went to a Sugarfree concert before. College Fair sa Pisay[skul ng ate ko] ko sila unang napanood at minahal.

Makalipas ang isa't kalahating taon, buhay pa rin ang kanilang musika. Buhay pa rin ang paghanga ko.

Now, my Dramachine album is my most treasured possession. No one else can hold it besides me and my sister.

The concert was great. Ebe was so funny. Kalog. Kulit. Kyut. Galing ng band!!!! Eto lang masasabi ko, Sugarfree is a very talented band. Tatagal pa sila! Hopefully. Someday, after decades, they would be a classic in the OPM scene. At hanggang pagtanda ko, I'll be proud to say that I was a fan. Ebe has an amazing voice[reminiscent of Eli's] And the songs.. beautifully written, would really touch and make you feel the emotions.. can't get any better. Lov'em. Lov'em. Lov'em.

A MESSAGE to MR. CAN-BE-ANYBODY...

2005-05-30T00:26:00.000+08:00

Naalala ko cya kagabi...
And as my first instinct lead me into grabbing a notebook and a pen.. Eto ang nasulat ko...

A MESSAGE to MR. CAN-BE-ANYBODY...

Kung alam mo lang na..
Matagal na kong may gusto sayo..
Edi...Ewan ko.. Ano nga ba?..
Di ko naman masasabing ako ang para sa iyo..
Di ko rin naman mapapantayan ung gusto mo..
Di ako gaanong maganda o seksi..
Pero alam ko naman di ka mababaw..
Di ka katulad ng ibang lalaki..
Pero kung alam mo lang cguro..
Baka mapaisip ka.. kahit papaano...

*hinga ng malalim*

Tagal ko ng gustong sabihin
O iparamdam man lang
Pero natatakot ako kasi
Kaibigan kita..
Sayang naman..
Baka mailang ka..
Eh ikaw lang ang kilala kong...
Nakakaalam ng mga gusto ko..

Di ko rin masabi sayo
Kasi may gusto kang iba..
Ata.. sabi nila eh..
Lagi akong nauunahan ng ibang babae..
O di mo lang talaga ako napapansin..
Eh ano namang saysay ng pag-amin..
Kung ang mga salitang sasambitin ko..
Ay para lang hanging..
Tatagos sa mga tainga mo..
O di tatama sa puso mo..
Kasi may laman ng iba..

Kung nababasa mo to..
At lalaki ka..
Baka ikaw ung tinutukoy ko..
O baka hindi..
Di ako makapagsulat ng
Mga ispesipikong pagkakataon..
Ayaw ko namang maging give-away noh..
Ano ko hilo??

Di 'to tula.. obvious.
Gibberish lang..
Para sa isang taong di ko
man lang alam kung mababasa toh..
o kung mababasa man nya..
ay malalamang sya ung tinutukoy ko..

Takot pa rin akong malaman mo..
Pero gusto kong malaman mo..
Gulo ba?.. Labo no?..
Ayaw ko na lang kasing tumunganga dito..
At magpakailanman ay maghihintay lang..
Sawa na kong magkunwari..
Sawa na kong itago ung totoo kong mararamdaman..
Sa tuwing magkikita tayo sa corridors..
Sawa na kong idaan sa sulat..
Lahat ng kabiguan ko...
Pero may magagawa ba ako..
Kaibigang hamak lang ang tingin mo sa kin..

Sana.. may isang kataas-taasang kapangyarihan dyan..
Sa tabi-tabi..
Sa taas..
Sa baba..
Ang magbulong sa yo..
magbukas ng iyong mga mata..
Iuntog ang ulo mo sa monitor[ouch!!]
at sabihin.."Hoy ikaw ung tinitukoy nya!"

Would you even feel something?
Matatamaan ka kaya?
Or maybe all you would feel is sympathy?..
Isiping ang corny ko naman..

Ginugulo ko ba isip mo?
Eh ikaw nga ba?
Kung sugurado kang ikaw ung tinutukoy ko,
Paano mo nasabi?
Medyo makapal rin mukha mo ah..
Dyowksss!!
Kung ikaw nga ang tinutukoy ko..
At nabasa mo na..
Ngaun..
Alam mo na..
Bahala na...
Basta nasabi ko na.. :)

Sa tuwing may exams...

2005-05-29T12:32:00.000+08:00

I got my taggie up and working!!!Woohooo!

Let see.. today??? It's raining like hell. Cold. I can sleep well tonight. :)

I had my UPCAT Mock Test earlier this day. I can't really say how I faired. I guess, I would have done better if I studied for it. Unfortunately, I had a slight fever and colds. My eyes are drowsy and I am disturbed by a headache. Shams!!! I hope the results would be good.

I ate lunch with.. of course.. the usual.. Faith and Theresa. But this time we ate at Mcdo. Hehe. I wanted to buy a HappyMeal but it's pricy. 89 pesos for a freakin chicken mcdo and a little[but cute] notebook??? Ano ko hilo? Habol ko lang naman ung cute na notebook eh.. e di bibili na lang ako sa National!..

Ngaun ay umuulan.. lakas.. I just hope it won't rain tomorrow.. Pupunta pa kami ni ate sa Sugarfree concert sa SM North..It would start at 5.oo pm, the time when it usually rains...open concert pa naman.. *crossing-fingers* Sana lang talaga huwag umulan..

I'm tired. Not yet sleepy but I'll take advantage of the weather. Gonna curl up on my bed and listen to music.

another song to love

2005-05-17T07:37:00.000+08:00

The Day You Said Goodnight
by Hale

Take me as you are,
Push me off the roadthe sadness,
I need this time to be with you
I'm freezing in the sun;
I'm burning in the rain
The silence;
I'm screaming,Calling out your name.

And i do reside in your light
Put out the fire with me and find
Yeah you'll lose the side of your circles
That's what i'll do if we say goodbye.

To be is all i gotta be
And all that i see
And all that i need this time
To me the life you gave me
The day you said goodnight.

The calmness in your face
That i see through the night
The warmth of your light is pressing unto us
You didn't ask me whyI never would have known oblivion is falling down.
And i do reside in your light
Put out the fire with me and find
Yeah you'll lose the side of your circles
That's what i'll do if we say goodbye.

To be is all i gotta be
And all that i see
And all that i need this time
To me the life you gave me
The day you said goodnight.

If you could only know me like your prayers at night
Then everything between you and me will be all
Right.
To be is all i gotta be
And all that i see
And all that i need this time
To me the life you gave me
The day you said goodnight.

She's already taken,
She's already taken
She's already taken me
She's already taken,
She's already taken
She's already taken me.
The day you said goodnight